3/11/2009

Shortly after I came up with the flogging concept in hope of squelching some person’s anti-social behavior towards American citizens, some well meaning ditz took a stand against water boarding.  Now I have discovered a side of flogging to help balance America’s erratic budget.  Knowing human nature as I do, I think that flogging has great potential to raise enough money every month to balance America’s shrinking budget.  I for one would pay $25 to see Mr. Madoff pay his debt to society at the flogging post.  It would also satisfy many African American’s feeling of inferiority because if it was a white person being flogged, we would have an African American doing the flogging.  There would be different types of flogging procedures: an egregious act could compound for a pre-salting of the flogging victim.  The salt used would be the type of salt used in Michigan to rid one’s driveway of snow and built up ice. We are not sure we could get the salting past the bleeding hearts that would be objecting to this type of procedure.  But I think the screaming pain would entice the anti-flogging contingent of America, especially if some of the participants were politicians.  Flogging would also provide gainful work for the unemployed. Participants could display their grit and bravado via lapel pens, special license plates, etc.  We invite our readers to submit suggestions.  Sorry, no dogs allowed at the event.  All that smoking salty flesh might stir up some primal instincts, which can become most dangerous to the flogged.  Experts I’ve spoken to have advised me that public flogging would quickly become our nations fasted growing spectator sport.  Here is a likely prospect; Thomas Lubanga.  Stay tuned for the next flog blog.

Carl Marcus